• Each action results in an equal and opposite reaction.
• Our paths are chosen by us, as are the destination.
• Everything that we are, everything happens to us, is because of the choices we make along the way.
• Try to kill yourself at home when the only people who are there are your kids, expect to have them taken away.

   Pretty simple, isn’t it? When you make a choice, you have to expect repercussions of that choice somewhere down the line. Whether they are good or bad, is purely based on the choice you make. Lets look at an example.

   Example 1 (the good): You truly love someone, and they want to spend their life with you. So, when you tell them you love them, they smile.
   Cause -> Effect. The cause is the words you say to them, the effect is the most beautiful sight you have ever seen.

   Example 2 (the bad): You take a bunch of pills then drink some alcohol, and leave a suicide note sitting next to you while your kids are sleeping upstairs. This results in you being put into a hospital and your kids taken away.
   Again… Cause -> Effect. The cause is being a selfish child not thinking of your kids while you try to kill yourself, and the effect is loosing the only people who would have loved you unconditionally if you had only never tried to abandon them.

   Not too difficult to wrap ones head around, is it? So why then, do some people still choose to blame the rest of the World for the way their own life is turning out? Especially people who are thousands of miles away at the time? Is there some sort of hidden message that the rest of us aren’t receiving?

   Victim complex is a serious issue. Go ahead and Google it, it’ll actually have results. Some people are insistent that they can do no wrong, and every screw-up in their life is the not the result of their choices or actions, but of everyone Else’s. Those people need to grab a clue. Your life is the way it is because of YOU, not because of us. Daddy didn’t pour the booze down your throat and make you an alcoholic behind the wheel. You not getting hugged by your mother as a child didn’t turn you into a child molester. The fact that your dad hit your mom when you were a kid does not give you any excuse to hit your wife or girlfriend when your upset (or anyone, for that matter). And sorry, but that ex-boyfriend/husband/whatever didn’t pop the top off that bottle of pills and hold a gun to your head while you ate them.

   When it comes time to make choices, where is the difficulty in simply reviewing the potential results of those choices? How long would it have taken someone to consider the fact that if they tried to off themselves while their kids slept, that possibly if they failed in the attempt, the kids might be taken away from them? That’s not even hard to fathom… it’s basic logic (which obviously escapes some more than others).

   Its time that some people stepped up to the plate and accepted responsibility for their own actions. And the first step in that is to stop blaming the World because you proverbially fucked up (or who knows, maybe not proverbially…. I could care less what you do in your personal time). Are you a closet case of victim complex? How often do you blame others when your own life goes to shit? Accept responsibility for your mistakes and learn from them. You learn SFA if you don’t admit they were your screw-ups in the first place.

   This is my angry post. Feel free to file it under “rant” and not bother reading it again… it might not even survive the week. But damn, blogs are a great venting point, aren’t they?

   So, I haven’t been blogging much… well, on myspace anyway.
   I actually went forward and rebuild my site… its primarily a blog now. I went with Wordpress because well, it was in Fantastico on our server, its easy to update, easy to skin, easy to add plugins, and it’s not spammy like myspace.
   So why am I posting here? Because strangely enough, I actually have one or two people here who follow my blogging (I’m looking at you Dave, you thexy stalker boy you ;)). I figured that if they actually care enough to follow my life on here, they may want to be kept more up to date on things in my World and beyond. So, without much more rambling from me, I give you:
   http://nightstorm.isyourgod.com
   No comments on the domain, please. I’ve had it for years, and it’s bonded with me. In other words, if it bothers you that much, get over it and don’t look at the address bar on your browser. :-P?
   So, come on by, register if you want (it’s not needed in order to read the posts), and feel free to make comments, or subscribe to the blog (I post about once a week if theres something of significance to report), or just check in on it once in a while. It’s a good way to keep up with that which is “NightStorm”.
   Take care everyone, and hope to see you over on my real blog. Oh, and Dave… gotta get out of the UK some more… you’re “Localizing” and starting to type like them. *smirk*

    Drama.  What is the deal exactly with some people going to such extremes just as a cry for extra attention?  I spent 7 years living a very dramatic life… the person I was with was overly emotional, attention hungry, and overall just not quite all there.  Harsh?  Perhaps, but if you knew what I know about the person, you’d understand.

    My relationship with that person did not end well.  She had cheated on me several times (two of which are confirmable, but likely there were others), and with what she put me through, I don’t think it’s possible to dislike someone any more (I know of at least one person who can relate to that, and he remains active on my myspace blog, so he’ll probably check this one sooner or later anyway… so HIYA!!).  I left with pretty much nothing… I had been emotionally broken down and most of my possessions were “claimed”… even objects that were never hers to begin with… things I have had since I was a teenager, and pictures of my now dead grandfather.  All things that suddenly were no longer mine.  I was lost, and damaged.  Then someone found me, and fixed me (you can read about her all over this place).

    Today, I came home from work to a message waiting for me on Messenger.  This woman who cheated on me, used me, lied to me, and took advantage of me for years  decided it was time for an attention grab.  Mind you, she wasn’t targeting me this time… no, she was targeting the guy she was cheating on me with (whom she continued a relationship with after I left).  As the story goes, she took a number of pills and mixed them with some alcohol, after writing a letter.  See where this is going?

    I don’t know where she is.  Honestly, I don’t care.  Likely some hospital somewhere, possibly even one with nice white jackets and padded rooms.  Again, harsh, but whatever.  After so long, it’s easy to stop caring about someone who chooses to self-destruct continuously without actually accepting help from anyone.  I know that my children, as well as her son from a previous marriage, are looked after.  That is what counts… obviously, it’s not something she took into consideration at the time.  I am only left in awe of how far someone will go just to get the attention of someone else… after speaking with a few people this evening, it comes out that she had broken up with “the guy” shortly before taking the pills.  She did this to her first husband (prior to their marriage), trying to kill herself to get his attention.  She told me just before our relationship ended that she had considered suicide… I even found the letter she wrote.

    Seriously.  Is the only way to get someone’s attention to do something extreme (and in this case, extremely stupid)?  What ever happened to “Hey, we need to talk”?  This was ultimately the reason my relationship with her failed, and why I am so happy where I am now.  I no longer have to put up with “do as I say or I’ll try to kill myself”.  I suppose it all comes down to maturity.  Yes, there are days when I wonder if I’m really loved as much as I originally thought I was, or how important I really am to people… but I don’t see killing myself (or attempting) as being a very productive way of solving the problem.  Communication means a lot, and so does spending time just thinking.  Hell, thinking about it is what leads me to discover that most of my insecurities are inside my own head, and are only there because of how I was treated in the past… my mind is clouded by that, and makes it hard sometimes to see how I am really treated now.  Doesn’t justify trying to kill myself over.  Just takes logic and effort to see through it.

    Anyway, not sure where I was going with all this… I suppose I just wanted to vent, and didn’t want to annoy or bother Tami with stupid things.  I know that this is probably the most insensitive thing any of you have ever seen me type or say, but sometimes stupid acts don’t need to be buried or sugar-coated to make the person seem a victim of their own choices in life.  To my 2 or 3 readers, take a minute to tell someone that you care.  It won’t kill you, and I doubt it would kill them… unless they’re mentally unbalanced and try to pop some pills or something, in which case, well… whatever.  I hear they make those jackets in all sizes, and yes, the sleeves are SUPPOSED to be too long.  Otherwise, where would the challenge have been for Houdini?

Tomorrow is Rememberance Day. A few years back, when I was still in High School, one of my brilliant teachers asked the class a question… what does Rememberance Day mean to them. Many in the class, I am sure, viewed it as nothing more than a holiday… a 3 day weekend, a chance to party it up, or a day to not worry about homework. See, when I was in High School, there were no major Military actions taking place involving Canadian Soldiers, so it was hard to wrap your mind around the idea of people from YOUR country dying for someone else. I had missed all the other major wars, and the Gulf War was just far enough away that it had slipped our minds, being replaced by the White Bronco chase in California and murder aquittals. We were largely untouched by the idea of people from “home” drying overseas to assure others were given the chance to live in a way that we had largely taken for granted.

Then 9/11 happened. I had been out of school for some time by this point, but living in the States at that time, it hit close to home. Schools were locked down (including the small-town school my then-step-son was attending), all planes were forced to land, and military was mobilized. People had died. Lots of people. Every News channel, every website, every conversation centered aorund this act, and the idea that we were going to War. Canada, my home Country, was one of the first to reach out to the States with an offer of aide (something a lot of Americans have since forgotten). Soldiers from my home Country were now at War, fighting for a Country that was not even their own. And more, Soldiers from my home Country were dying for that War. Selfless acts of sacrifice in the name of Freedom and again, the way of life we had taken for granted.

Between September 11 2001 and September 25 2007, 72 Canadians have lost their lives (LINK). These were not simply unnamed faces… these were someone’s son, or daughter, or neice or nephew, or grandson or granddaughter, or mother or father. All people who stood up and stepped forward to defend freedom, and ultimately gave their lives for it. How do we honour them? How do we now, today, stand here and say thank you to those people who can no longer be here with us? We take a day, and dedicate it to their lives and their sacrifice. We think of them, we carry their courage and their memory and their sacrifice with us, and we make sure that what they gave was not in vain. And we make sure that every generation knows what November 11th really means. It’s not a day from school, nor a day from work. It’s a day to say “Thank You”.

If that same teacher were to now ask me the same question I was asked then, my answer would likely be much different. I only wish it did not take the deaths of all those men and women for me to stop viewing the day through selfish eyes, and to understand what it really meant.

Rememberance.

To everyone who is in the Military, or has been, or knows someone who is and stands by them even in the darkest of moments. Thank you.

Tribute to Canadian Soldiers

Canadian Forces Tribute
Played at Military Night
Produced: Steve Godkin, Manitoba Moose
March 10, 2007
Winnipeg,Manitoba,Canada
MTS Centre
Moose vs. Iowa Stars
AHL Hockey
Parent Club; Vancouver Canucks