Amongst the chaos of the past few weeks, we (Tami and I) were given a chance this week to escape for a few hours as we travelled South to Seattle to attend Penny Arcade Expo 2008 (henceforth to be referred to as PAX, because my typing sucks and 3 letters is harder to screw up than 19).
My overall impressions on PAX this year was somewhat of a letdown. Having attended last years event, where the panels included discussions on Penny Arcade’s debut game (which was set to come out on xBox Live) held by Hothead Games, a discussion on the History Of Guild Wars, The Future Of MMOs (which covered a lot of what Guild Wars 2 would be about), and ArenaNet Culture And Origins, I was left with a feeling that something good had happened… I had learned a lot about the gaming industry, and felt confident in it’s future.
This year… where do I start? The PAX staff were, for the most part, a letdown. While some managed to remain civil and polite (even funny in a few cases), the bad seeds ruined the entire event for me. Some of them were rude, obnoxious, and in one case, an outright bitch. “Line up here! No, you can’t line up here, you’re blocking the lane… line up there! NO! DON’T LINE UP WHERE I JUST TOLD YOU TO LINE UP, THERE ARE PEOPLE WALKING NEAR BY! GO THERE INSTEAD!!” Not to mention getting pissed at attendees for, gods forbid, sitting on the beanbag chairs where the staff had put them, only to be told that you can’t sit there, you need to move somewhere else. Hmm… it was fine last year, and I don’t really know why someone coming down an escalator would need a full 40 feet of lane space in order to be herded down the next escalator (there was actually a woman at the event who’s job was to yell at people that the down escalator was the only way down, so that was where you had to go… you know, unless you wanted to attend a panel, or get in line, or go to the OTHER down escalator on the other side of the center…). The general feeling of the panel discussions was that I was being herded like a sheep to slaughter. We had to go and sit exactly where we were told to, no exceptions… if your husband, wife, or partner was in front of you and got told to sit at the end of a chair lane, tough luck for you sitting with them… you’re in the lane behind them now, at the far end of the lane. Argue or question? Get kicked out of the panel discussion. Even the ArenaNet staff were rolling their eyes at the “Enforcers”.
The panel discussions themselves, as well as the booth occupiers, were the only saving grace for this years event. Even some of the people were a prime example of what is wrong with the World (although that is to be expected… rude staff is unacceptable). Attending the panel discussion “Female Gamer Community” this year with Tami, I found myself disgusted with what I was exposed to. Hold on, don’t read into that wrong. I am one of those types that supports girls in gaming, and believes that yep, they are quite capable of kicking the ass of anyone else that faces them in-game, irregardless of gender. What disgusted me was not what was being said on stage or in the general audience… it was what was being said at the back of the group by a few guys who felt it necessary to fall into a typical chauvinistic elitist asshole stereotype… commenting on who in the panel was, and was not “hot”, among other comments best left unpublished. Apparently there are even some on the PAX discussion forum commenting on how they had to get away from the panel quickly, lest they loose their testicles. Idiots like that are a good enough reason for me to not want to visit that community, thanks. I would think those guys would be more concerned with getting their asses kicked repeatedly in-game by these girls, since that is the threat they face. In regards to the actual Panel Discussion, I think I’ll leave Tami to write about that on her site… I unfortunately came into the discussion 15 minutes late due to my need for Tylenol and food).
The Guild Wars panel was umm… short. It was 90% a question/answer session, and didn’t touch GW2 very much due to the “secrecy” they are now operating under. While I focused on what was being said by the Panel, Tami was unfortunately forced to listen to some guy sitting on the sidelines (apparently another wonderfully trained Monkey brought on to be PAX staff) openly commenting on the responses and criticizing the panel as well as how they spoke. Nothing better to do with his time, other than bang on that keyboard hoping for Shakespeare, I guess. Chris (the Marketing Head) mentioned that they have entered into a 3 book deal for Guild Wars, which is set to focus firstly on what takes place immediately after GW1 (basically, the books are meant to fill the void of 250 years between GW1 and GW2). We got to hear a bit about the original concept art for GW (yep, every single thing we see in Guild Wars is started off as concept art), and how ArenaNet supports in-game Guild-hosted events and actually does follow them.
Wandering the floor, I was absolutely blown away by 1 game at the NCSoft booth. This game was phenomenal. Much like Guild Wars in the concept sense (although one of the staff did point out that this game is more story-driven than quest-driven), the graphics were amazing. Initial features of the game that jumped out was, of course, the graphics, but also the ability to customize your character completely. Every single facial and body detail was editable, allowing for you to finally create a full physical avatar of yourself for in game. Now, I must simply wait for release… which can’t happen until they decide HOW they plan to release it, and what sort of subscription system they plan to use, if any. So yeah, the game is amazing, but it could be a long time before we get to actually see it. What’s it called? Aion. Watch for it.
Overall, if not for the PAX staff and long lines for little fulfillment, PAX 2008 could count as a decent event. Unfortunately, those two things really ruined it for me.
And besides, why hold a panel discussion for Hothead Games (the developers of the Penny Arcade video game) 2 hours after all the exhibit booths have closed up and people have been told to get out? Where’s the logic in that?
I started this post by saying we were given the chance to escape. Unfortunately, the only escape we got on this trip was when we got out of Washington and back into our own Country.
On a side-note, I finally started to process some of the video that was shot while the Mendella crew were here visiting… with that, I give you a small sample… Mendella Invades the 2008 Abbotsford International Airshow.
Each action results in an equal and opposite reaction.
Our paths are chosen by us, as are the destination.
Everything that we are, everything happens to us, is because of the choices we make along the way.
Try to kill yourself at home when the only people who are there are your kids, expect to have them taken away.
Pretty simple, isn’t it? When you make a choice, you have to expect repercussions of that choice somewhere down the line. Whether they are good or bad, is purely based on the choice you make. Lets look at an example.
Example 1 (the good): You truly love someone, and they want to spend their life with you. So, when you tell them you love them, they smile.
Cause -> Effect. The cause is the words you say to them, the effect is the most beautiful sight you have ever seen.
Example 2 (the bad): You take a bunch of pills then drink some alcohol, and leave a suicide note sitting next to you while your kids are sleeping upstairs. This results in you being put into a hospital and your kids taken away.
Again… Cause -> Effect. The cause is being a selfish child not thinking of your kids while you try to kill yourself, and the effect is loosing the only people who would have loved you unconditionally if you had only never tried to abandon them.
Not too difficult to wrap ones head around, is it? So why then, do some people still choose to blame the rest of the World for the way their own life is turning out? Especially people who are thousands of miles away at the time? Is there some sort of hidden message that the rest of us aren’t receiving?
Victim complex is a serious issue. Go ahead and Google it, it’ll actually have results. Some people are insistent that they can do no wrong, and every screw-up in their life is the not the result of their choices or actions, but of everyone Else’s. Those people need to grab a clue. Your life is the way it is because of YOU, not because of us. Daddy didn’t pour the booze down your throat and make you an alcoholic behind the wheel. You not getting hugged by your mother as a child didn’t turn you into a child molester. The fact that your dad hit your mom when you were a kid does not give you any excuse to hit your wife or girlfriend when your upset (or anyone, for that matter). And sorry, but that ex-boyfriend/husband/whatever didn’t pop the top off that bottle of pills and hold a gun to your head while you ate them.
When it comes time to make choices, where is the difficulty in simply reviewing the potential results of those choices? How long would it have taken someone to consider the fact that if they tried to off themselves while their kids slept, that possibly if they failed in the attempt, the kids might be taken away from them? That’s not even hard to fathom… it’s basic logic (which obviously escapes some more than others).
Its time that some people stepped up to the plate and accepted responsibility for their own actions. And the first step in that is to stop blaming the World because you proverbially fucked up (or who knows, maybe not proverbially…. I could care less what you do in your personal time). Are you a closet case of victim complex? How often do you blame others when your own life goes to shit? Accept responsibility for your mistakes and learn from them. You learn SFA if you don’t admit they were your screw-ups in the first place.
This is my angry post. Feel free to file it under “rant” and not bother reading it again… it might not even survive the week. But damn, blogs are a great venting point, aren’t they?
Drama. What is the deal exactly with some people going to such extremes just as a cry for extra attention? I spent 7 years living a very dramatic life… the person I was with was overly emotional, attention hungry, and overall just not quite all there. Harsh? Perhaps, but if you knew what I know about the person, you’d understand.
My relationship with that person did not end well. She had cheated on me several times (two of which are confirmable, but likely there were others), and with what she put me through, I don’t think it’s possible to dislike someone any more (I know of at least one person who can relate to that, and he remains active on my myspace blog, so he’ll probably check this one sooner or later anyway… so HIYA!!). I left with pretty much nothing… I had been emotionally broken down and most of my possessions were “claimed”… even objects that were never hers to begin with… things I have had since I was a teenager, and pictures of my now dead grandfather. All things that suddenly were no longer mine. I was lost, and damaged. Then someone found me, and fixed me (you can read about her all over this place).
Today, I came home from work to a message waiting for me on Messenger. This woman who cheated on me, used me, lied to me, and took advantage of me for years decided it was time for an attention grab. Mind you, she wasn’t targeting me this time… no, she was targeting the guy she was cheating on me with (whom she continued a relationship with after I left). As the story goes, she took a number of pills and mixed them with some alcohol, after writing a letter. See where this is going?
I don’t know where she is. Honestly, I don’t care. Likely some hospital somewhere, possibly even one with nice white jackets and padded rooms. Again, harsh, but whatever. After so long, it’s easy to stop caring about someone who chooses to self-destruct continuously without actually accepting help from anyone. I know that my children, as well as her son from a previous marriage, are looked after. That is what counts… obviously, it’s not something she took into consideration at the time. I am only left in awe of how far someone will go just to get the attention of someone else… after speaking with a few people this evening, it comes out that she had broken up with “the guy” shortly before taking the pills. She did this to her first husband (prior to their marriage), trying to kill herself to get his attention. She told me just before our relationship ended that she had considered suicide… I even found the letter she wrote.
Seriously. Is the only way to get someone’s attention to do something extreme (and in this case, extremely stupid)? What ever happened to “Hey, we need to talk”? This was ultimately the reason my relationship with her failed, and why I am so happy where I am now. I no longer have to put up with “do as I say or I’ll try to kill myself”. I suppose it all comes down to maturity. Yes, there are days when I wonder if I’m really loved as much as I originally thought I was, or how important I really am to people… but I don’t see killing myself (or attempting) as being a very productive way of solving the problem. Communication means a lot, and so does spending time just thinking. Hell, thinking about it is what leads me to discover that most of my insecurities are inside my own head, and are only there because of how I was treated in the past… my mind is clouded by that, and makes it hard sometimes to see how I am really treated now. Doesn’t justify trying to kill myself over. Just takes logic and effort to see through it.
Anyway, not sure where I was going with all this… I suppose I just wanted to vent, and didn’t want to annoy or bother Tami with stupid things. I know that this is probably the most insensitive thing any of you have ever seen me type or say, but sometimes stupid acts don’t need to be buried or sugar-coated to make the person seem a victim of their own choices in life. To my 2 or 3 readers, take a minute to tell someone that you care. It won’t kill you, and I doubt it would kill them… unless they’re mentally unbalanced and try to pop some pills or something, in which case, well… whatever. I hear they make those jackets in all sizes, and yes, the sleeves are SUPPOSED to be too long. Otherwise, where would the challenge have been for Houdini?
